It’s been a week since I had an uncomfortable experience at our local supermarket. It’s still bothering me.
Last week, picking up a few quick items at our local grocery store, I stepped into the shortest line. There was a young mom with her child, about 3 years old, checking out. Next in line was a mature woman, probably around late 70’s and I was in line behind her.
It didn’t take long to notice the mature woman rolling her eyes, taping her hands on the counter, deep breathing with long sighs. At this point my eyes went past her to the young mom and it was then I noticed she was using coupons for her grocery purchase. It was obvious this mom was aware of the elderly woman’s behavior and appeared uncomfortable.
One would think the elderly woman may have been late for an appointment or feeling rushed for someplace she wished to be? After the young mom left with the child, the woman took plenty of time to engage in conversation with the cashier, no longer in a hurry to get checked. She began questioning why a grocery store would carry clothing and if there were any significant sales of such. She laughed and continued to press the cashier, who simply said, “People do purchase clothes here.” He then ignored any further condescending questions.
This experience is still bothering me because I didn’t say ANYTHING! Should I have said something? People have the right to be who they are BUT when it affects others, which her attitude appeared to affect the young mom and her behavior affected me, then I believe silence only condones, representing approval.
I have allowed this experience to be a source of agitation. Using the Internet as a resource, searched what to do when people are rude? Came across this informative article titled, “5 Polite Ways to Disarm Rude People”, Psychology Today, which explains the difference between rudeness and bullying. Since I was a bystander to the incident and the young mom chose to ignore the woman, it was best not to say anything and let it go. And, the woman’s conversation with the cashier was with him and not with me. Therefore, it was best that I remain silent and follow the response of the cashier…ignore her. If the woman’s actions were towards me, directly, then I could choose how to respond. As indicated in the hyperlinked article, always consider the circumstance.
When is a response necessary? When the behavior becomes bullying, a response is appropriate. The image on this blog, shared with permission, is by an amazing 16-year- old artist, Jessica. The artist rendition powerfully illustrates the results of bullying through facial expression and words, which create the image itself. Depression, sorrow, pain, hurt, alone, hell, rejection, anxiety, broken, represent but a few from the image, the harsh reality of bullying when intervention is necessary. Although we often perceive bullying to only afflict school age children it also occurs among adults, in all age groups. I personally have observed such behavior by grown men and women, especially on sport fields as well as the workplace.
Whether witnessing rudeness and bullying in public, on any sports field, in the workplace, or wherever such behavior takes place, be prepared in how you might respond. This blog post as well as “5 Polite Ways to Disarm Rude People”, provides food for thought in order to make wise decisions; not respond, when to approach a person(s) directly and when to seek and speak to those in authority. So, what would you do?
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 The Bible, New Living Translation